I’m really about to be like them instagram philosophers that post pictures and have totally unrelated captions to them. But I happened to have these pictures and I also happened to have a thought to share, so let’s allow it.I feel like I’ve grown a lot this past year in the sense that I’ve become mature enough to accept parts of myself and things I enjoy that may not be the most socially pleasing or acceptable. In this specific example, I’m talking about myself being an introvert.Most people who know me wouldn’t necessarily use that word to describe, mainly because I’ve done a good job of suppressing it basically all my life. As cliché as this is, I’m what you would call “an introvert with extrovert tendencies”. I feel like too often, the word “introvert” is taken as a synonym for shy or socially awkward, both of which I’m definitely not. I love to talk and I love being around people.However, I am someone who exceedingly values my alone time. This past year, I’ve been challenged so much with that due to the fact that it seemed like I never had a moment alone aside when it was time for bed. During my “free time” (which I didn’t have a lot of), I was almost constantly with my friends. I love my friends like my sisters, but between my classes that were thoroughly dealing with me, social life, being involved in school and so on, I was suffocating.“Oyinda always wants to be alone”. Something I’ve been hearing my mom say since I was about 11 years old. But at the end of the day, yes, I like to be alone. It’s how I cope. I was watching Shope Delano on YouTube and she made me realize that “Me time” is definitely not free time. I should be able to take liberty in turning down an invitation somewhere simply because I’m taking that time to just be in my room, listen to music, write or whatever else relaxes me in that moment. BY MYSELF!When it comes down to it, If my mental or emotional state is fucked up because I haven’t had time to really sit in one spot and evaluate myself, everything else I’m going to be doing in my “busy time” is either going to feel meaningless or not turn out how I want it to. And the worst person for me to disappoint is myself.The message here is that at this age, there’s so much social pressure. To always be on the move, always be doing something, “enjoying your youth”. But if you personally feel like being alone for sometime is essential for you to function, which it probably is, then do that. Make yourself a priority.
P.S I’m currently trying to figure out a schedule for myself to be able to blog alongside everything else I have going on. More details on my current situation and how I’m going to manage The Retro Liaison, click the link to my YouTube channel.
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